The Catholic Nerd Blog

2009-12-21T12:28:00.002-06:00

...the phrase "heroic virtues" was an early Christmasn present to you this year. "JP2, We love you!" "Pius12..." umm... uh... "you're top shelf!"

2009-12-03T11:00:00.000-06:00

...you've ever thought "I would love to be cloistered in the Vatican for 5 years!"

2009-11-29T22:50:00.001-06:00

...you totally geek out over the pope's new ferula.

2009-11-10T18:35:00.002-06:00

...you get goosebumps when you see an Ignatius book (the spine of which you can identify from 1000 yards) on the shelves of your local library or chain bookstore.

2009-10-16T13:58:00.001-05:00

...you geek out over finding the word "ineffable" in the New Yorker.

2009-04-24T14:18:00.001-05:00

...you love "Holy God We Praise Thy Name" but hearing it only makes you long even more to chant the Te Deum.

2008-11-05T11:26:00.002-06:00

...your election mourning is tempered by relief that you won't hear the words "proportionate reason" for another two years.

2008-01-19T08:30:00.001-06:00

...you meet your future spouse at a Theology of the Body discussion group.

2008-01-09T21:30:00.000-06:00

from reader Catlin Barr:

...you can't find a date because all your male friends are planning on
entering the seminary.

...you call attending two masses in one day "double dipping."

...you call the mass of Pius V the "trid."

...our best friend's favorite article of clothing is his custom-made
cassock... and he's not a priest.

Blogger finally let me reclaim this blog! Hopefully, I'll post more than once a year.

2006-06-09T16:01:00.000-05:00

you not only fast from meat on Fridays but you can also list all possible reasons for breaking that fast;)

2006-06-08T23:02:00.000-05:00

...you wonder whether or not Jesus had a guardian angel.

2006-06-08T22:56:00.000-05:00

...your child's luvy is a homemade scapular (because she used to fall asleep playing with yours and you don't want her carrying around and losing a real scapular.)

2006-06-08T09:30:00.000-05:00

...your five day trip to southern California is planned not for a trip to Disney Land, but for a trip to visit the Carmelites of Alhambra.

2006-06-08T09:27:00.000-05:00

...in your dreams you compose a hymn calling Protestant denominations back to the one true faith to the tune of "The Church's One Foundation."

OK, maybe I just have bizaare dreams.

2006-03-11T13:40:00.000-06:00

...you agonize over naming a potential set of twins after famous saint-pairs. Cyril - yes! but, er, Methodius? Felicity - allright! but c'mon... Perpetua???

2006-02-20T07:52:00.000-06:00

... you dream about receiving a phone call from Joaquin Navarro-Valls to discuss media coverage of an upcoming papal visit. (Result of the call: Navarro-Valls fell asleep on the other end of the phone. I have strange dreams.)

2006-02-01T23:08:00.000-06:00

...you have a conversation similar to the following once a year:

Papa-Lu: Darn, my birthday Octave is over. Oh well... at least my epiphany is on a Sunday this year.

Mama-Lu: Too bad! I guess we don't celebrate it.

Papa-Lu: Ah, but certain local feasts can supercede a Sunday.

2004-06-18T14:41:00.000-05:00

We interrupt this blog to bring you the news of the birth of a tiny Catholic Nerd.

Jenny L. and Chris L., contributors to this blog, gave birth to Matthew Boniface L. on June 17th.

For information and pictures (eventually), go here.

2004-04-29T11:24:00.000-05:00

You call into Catholic Answers Live 2 days in a row!

2004-04-26T17:04:00.000-05:00

You know you run in Catholic Nerd circles when:

While listening to Catholic Answers Live on your way home from work, you hear "Laura from Indianapolis" and wonder if that is if that is your friend Laura who lives in Indy.
When you establish it is, you flip out, then recieve a call on your cell from someone and say, frantically, "I gotta call you back, Laura's on the radio."
To which the caller replies, "I know, I was calling to tell you."
After listening to your friend's question (about spiritual direction) and the guest's answer (that, among other things, he can email her a list of helpful books), you call her, yelling into the phone, "I just heard you on the radio!"
To which she replies, " I figured either you or Jeannine would be calling me."
While you are on the phone, the first caller calls back and you say, "Now I am talking to Laura"
To which he replies, "Ask her to forward the email to me when she gets it from him."

2004-03-28T20:32:00.000-06:00

...you not only say Grace before all meals, but you also say the Prayer After meals.

2004-03-28T20:27:00.000-06:00

...you know what things Father Hardon says every Catholic should have on them at all times. Actually you get Catholic Nerd status just by knowing who Father Hardon is.

2004-03-04T13:17:00.000-06:00

...your parents ask you what has come over you that you are so pleasant/helpful/etc. today, and you attribute it to having gone to mass (recieved the Eucharist) that morning.

2004-02-27T12:58:00.000-06:00

...you know which church to go to in order to:
a) miss the heavy traffic in the morning by leaving early and going to mass close to work (all without driving out of the way, and so you get to work exactly on time.)
b) pray stations with your fiance on the way home from work/before going to see The Passion of the Christ (without going out of either of your way.)
c) and so on...

2004-02-23T17:43:00.000-06:00

... you get momentarily confused when you hear the word "discernment" refering to something besides trying to determine God's will.

2004-01-30T14:39:00.000-06:00

...the most exciting thing about your apartment hunt is knowing that you picked (it is necessary) to live in a neighborhood that makes it possible to join the parish your Oma (grandmother) used to belong to. (The only German Sunday masses in my city: maybe that makes me a Germanophile nerd, but we all knew that!)

p.s. We went to the German Mass on Sunday. Boy oh boy how I love Mass in German!

2003-12-01T11:57:00.000-06:00

...you know who St. Sharbel is, and are shocked that others don't...

2003-11-09T17:19:00.000-06:00

...you can rattle off the times for every Sunday and Daily Mass in town.

2003-10-30T20:05:00.000-06:00

...you have a special place for all of your religious art overflow, since there are only so many images of the Virgin Mary one room can handle.

2003-10-30T20:01:00.000-06:00

...the genre that get the most shelf space in your house is Catholic (if Russian follows second then you are a really cool Catholic nerd.)

2003-10-29T16:16:00.000-06:00

The highlight of your week is talking to Jeff Cavins, if only for a second on a
Catholic Radio Program.

2003-10-22T15:50:00.000-05:00

...you not only know what a motu proprio is, but you fantasize about ones you would issue if you were Pope (I would ban certain hymns and certain musical instruments in Mass) :)

2003-10-22T15:27:00.000-05:00

...someone says George Weigel is coming to town and you say "cool."

2003-10-21T16:53:00.000-05:00

...you know the names and locations of the quickly growing, Vatican friendly, religious orders that are popular among other Catholic nerds. The ones coming to mind now are in LA, NY, Ann Arbor, Nashville, and Peoria. Do you know who these are or know of others I'm missing?

2003-10-21T16:48:00.000-05:00

...you feel guilty for missing daily Mass.

...your priest tells you not to mention the fact that he has to say 3 Masses in 1 day. This is double nerd points because a) you know why this is problematic, b) you stand out enough as a nerd that he knows you will know why this is something to keep on the lowdown. If you then go off and call the bishop and let him in on the secret, you should start a Catholic Fanatic blog:)

2003-10-15T21:19:00.000-05:00

...you know multiple melodies for Tantum Ergo.

...the Angelus, rosary, Mass, and/or the litugy of the hours makes a daily appearance in your life.

...you stereotype people by their apostolate, i.e. Opus Dei, Regnum Christi, etc.

2003-09-05T13:47:00.000-05:00

...you greet a friend with "Happy Feast Day!" because today is the feast of the saint whose name he took at his Confirmation.

...you have ever considered naming one of your possible children after one of the more obscure Fathers of the Church. (Hopefully you then realize that no one will be able to spell or pronounce it.)

...you have ever referred to a saint not by his or her name, but simply as your patron or patroness. (Extra points for referring to Mary only as your Mother.)

...you actually have a party on the feast of one of your favorite saints. (Katie, we must begin plans for St. Cecilia's day this year.)

...you know that if you became a nun, you would wear a habit. (For guys--you'd consider wearing a cassock if you became a priest.)

...you have a desire to say a Glory Be after every prayer. (Extra points for wanting to say a Gloria Patri, mucho points for wanting to chant a Gloria Patri.)

...knowing that a guy or girl goes to daily Mass is a big turn-on.

(borrowed from http://allepsalite.blogspot.com/)

2003-07-18T11:51:00.000-05:00

...you are visiting Procrastination Nation and you get it when he says "the Algorithm Method (that sounds like birth control for Catholic geeks.)"

2003-07-17T16:50:00.000-05:00

...your son shows you the list of books he needs for his 6 weeks of study and training as a FOCUS missionary the night before he's leaving, and you have all but two of the eight on your shelf - and those two are at the office.

(submitted by Ron Hazen.)

Bonus Nerd points if you already knew that FOCUS is the Fellowship of Catholic university Students.

2003-07-17T16:18:00.000-05:00

...…your most common phrase at parties starts with “Well, the Catholic Catechism says…”

(submitted by Catherine Prochko)

2003-07-17T16:15:00.000-05:00

...your emergency kit contains not just duct tape and food bars, but a bottle of holy water, rosaries all around, and medals and prayer cards.

(submitted by Alicia Huntley of Fructus Ventris)

2003-06-23T19:12:00.000-05:00

...you can recite, in order, all of the saints mentioned in the first Eucharistic prayer.

2003-06-19T15:49:00.000-05:00

...your dress shoes are all scuffed on the top of the toes from kneeling at church.

2003-06-16T13:48:00.000-05:00

...you invite more priests to your wedding than you have attendants.

2003-06-03T11:05:00.000-05:00

...all the jewelry you are wearing is religious. Well, actually that could be any variety of nerd, so you are only a Catholic nerd if you have a rosary ring or bracelet, or a St. __________ medal, or a four way scapular.

2003-05-30T13:28:00.000-05:00

...you know the three levels of Monsignor and what the difference is between them. (I'm not a nerd in this respect since I only know "Protonotary Apostolic" and "Prelate of Honor", but I bet some nerd out there can drop a comment with more info. C'mon, you know you want to!)

2003-05-27T15:42:00.000-05:00

....your gauge your movie pix based on their ratings: A-I, A-II, A-III, A-IV and O.

2003-05-14T14:38:00.000-05:00

...you drink to the Holy Father on his birthday. (Its coming up on this Sunday, the 18th, so mark your calendars and get ready to pop the corks!)

2003-05-13T14:13:00.000-05:00

...your children can pronounce and define hypo-static union, ditto for transubstantiation.

2003-05-13T14:10:00.000-05:00

...you are driving down the road going crazy because you can't remember the 5th line of the 2nd verse of Tantum Ergo (extra points if check for the words in the breviary that's sitting on the console)

2003-05-09T11:36:00.000-05:00

...its not the unity candle but the renewal of your baptismal promises that you want to add to your wedding (if you see the unity candle at someone else's wedding and say to yourself "oh, not as hard core as I thought," then you are an uncharitable Catholic nerd.)

2003-05-09T11:25:00.000-05:00

...you own one or more t-shirts that reference the Eucharist, the pope, the Rosary, Confession, or all of the above.

2003-05-09T11:23:00.000-05:00

...you have images of saints or Jesus stuck to your dash board, or your visor, or hanging from your rear view mirror.

2003-04-21T16:14:00.000-05:00

...and if part of the reason you got lost was because your passenger was reading aloud from the Diary of St. Faustina, so you forgot to pay attention to the street signs.

2003-04-21T16:13:00.000-05:00

...when getting lost while driving, you don't get mad, you say, "well, at least we got to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet."

2003-04-15T12:42:00.000-05:00

...you are the only one in the room who laughs when people are making fun of somebody for liking the band PHISH and somebody says, "You know you should listen to PHISH on Fridays!" (This prolly falls more under the Catholic Dork category, but, that is close enough)

2003-04-06T16:23:00.000-05:00

...you have a disturbing dream that a series of misprints in the breviary shatters your prayer life.

2003-04-05T22:43:00.000-06:00

...you can list the appointments and privileges associated with being a Knight of the Holy Sepulchre. Actually, it's pretty nerdy just to know what "appointments" are.

2003-03-19T20:35:00.000-06:00

...when a friend asks you to stop by the Catholic bookstore and pick up a statue of St. Joseph, you ask "Do you want a nice one for your house, or one to bury upside down to sell a house?"

2003-03-19T11:47:00.000-06:00

...your daily planner is a "Liturgical Desk Calendar."

2003-03-14T13:47:00.000-06:00

...you don't feel right about eating a donut on Friday because its lent. You didn't give up sweets or anything, but somehow that just doesn't seem right.

2003-03-14T13:46:00.000-06:00

...you are looking up Mass times in the yellow pages (you might think a nerd would have all the Mass times memorized, but my argument is that a real nerd respects parish boundires and only attends the correct church) and you say, "Why do they have Comp. Line listed?" and your friend thinks that you are referring to the Liturgy of the Hours.

2003-03-14T13:39:00.000-06:00

...somebody tells you they want to be a saint and you take them seriously.

2003-03-14T13:38:00.000-06:00

...your friend is telling you about another friend who gets up every morning at 5, prays a Holy Hour and then goes to Mass. He finishes talling you about her by saying "I guess you know what she's discerning" and you do.

2003-03-07T17:38:00.000-06:00

...you stop and compare ashes with friends after Mass.

2003-03-06T10:07:00.000-06:00

...when problems at work (or in life in general) get out of hand, you go looking for a good novena.

2003-02-27T18:06:00.000-06:00

...the only reading material you bring with you on a plane trip is Love and Responsibility by Karol Wojtyla and Triumph: The Power and Glory of the Catholic Church- A 2000 Year History by H.W. Crocker III

2003-02-19T15:15:00.000-06:00

...you have more pictures of saints than of relatives on your walls.

2003-02-19T15:13:00.000-06:00

...you dress to match the liturgical season or feast (my favorite example was newly married wife who told her husband he was only allowed to wear his pink ties when the church wore pink)

2003-02-11T10:24:00.000-06:00

...you have been to one or more WYD (extra nerdiness if you made in the Jubilee Year.)

2003-02-11T10:23:00.000-06:00

...you look into phenomenology just to be even more of a Pope groupie. JP2, we love you!

2003-02-11T10:21:00.000-06:00

...you pick dates for significant events by looking up feast days.

2003-02-11T10:20:00.000-06:00

...February 14 means Cyrill and Methodius (sp?) Day!
Yeah for the apostles to the Slavs!!!
Yeah for OCS!!!

2003-02-06T15:46:00.000-06:00

...BVM and OLOG mean something to you.

2003-02-06T15:45:00.000-06:00

...you know which Eucharistic prayer is being used in 5 words or less.

2003-02-06T15:43:00.000-06:00

...you have a key rack that does not hold any keys but rather is full of Rosaries.

2003-02-03T14:58:00.000-06:00

...your VCR is programmed to tape every episode of Fulton Sheen's Life is Worth Living that airs on EWTN.

2003-02-02T15:22:00.000-06:00

...you want to know the best options for downloading the saint of the day to you palmpilot.

2003-02-02T15:13:00.000-06:00

...you know the words to Tantum Ergo, Salve Regina, Ave Maria, Panis Angelicus, ____________ (fill in you favorite Latin Hymn)

2003-01-31T15:42:00.000-06:00

...you and your friends break out a calendar, (one of the free ones that your Parish gives away) and go through it to see whose feast days are when. (I suppose if you are a true Catholic nerd, you would already know :)

2003-01-31T15:40:00.000-06:00

...on a Friday night, you stay up with your friends until 1.30 am, watching EWTN.

2003-01-30T18:36:00.000-06:00

...you receive a invitation to dinner that warns you that it will violate your Friday fast, and so you may wish to choose an alternate fast for that day if you attend.

2003-01-30T14:50:00.000-06:00

...you have a dream that you receive the charismatic gift of tongues, and think to yourself, "oh, so that's how it comes!"

2003-01-30T14:49:00.000-06:00

...you have a dream that you are in adoration....and the Eucharist begins to bleed...and your big dilemma is whether to leave Jesus alone and get a priest to show him the miracle, or to stay with Jesus. (I stayed, by the way)

2003-01-29T09:32:00.000-06:00

...you feel really conflicted because your house smells like Christmas and Easter at the same time. (We had a Christmas tree and lilies!)

2003-01-28T09:43:00.000-06:00

....at a pre-Christmas party, you ask your friends if anyone will be "liturgically offended" if you light all four of the candles on the Advent wreath even though it is just Thursday of the 3rd week of Advent.

2003-01-28T09:35:00.000-06:00

...you own one or more of the following, Witness to Hope, Canon Law, Daily Roman Missal, a Latin hymnal, Theology of the Body, the Suma, Confessions, Commentary of St. Jerome, an Ignatius Bible, Reed of God, This Tremendous Lover, umm well, I could spend the next hour cataloging my shelves on this blog, but I should get back to work, and I think you get the idea;)

2003-01-28T09:29:00.000-06:00

...you refer to having a bit too much to drink as, "not in the best state to evangelize." (To which your friends reply, "meet 'em where they're at, man!")

2003-01-28T09:26:00.000-06:00

...when a solemnity falling on a Friday changes your normal Friday fare (St. Joseph in lent doesn't count, neither does St. Patrick's Day , unless you happen to get a dispensation for that in your diocese, gotta love Peoria!)

2003-01-28T09:19:00.000-06:00

...you remember the names of the apostles by going through your brothers (yay big families!)

2003-01-27T10:36:00.000-06:00

...the biggest fight you've had with your boyfriend is about which one of you was praying the Apostles' creed wrong.

2003-01-24T14:26:00.000-06:00

...you pray bits of the rosary whenever you drive, instead of listening to the radio (props to MJT for that one!)

2003-01-24T12:55:00.000-06:00

...your roommate tells you that you were talking about the pope in your sleep (this was a few years ago)

2003-01-24T12:50:00.000-06:00

...you ask for the intercession of people who have not yet been canonized, and it isn't some friend or relative.

2003-01-24T11:45:00.000-06:00

...you think it is *very* romantic to switch rosaries with your boyfriend.

2003-01-23T12:35:00.000-06:00

...you know who JP2 is (if you argue about whether or not it is appropriate to nick-name a pope, you might be more than a nerd, perhaps someday we will start a self diagnostic blog "You know you need Catholic therapy when..."

2003-01-23T12:31:00.000-06:00

...you still sing "saved a wretch like me" and other un-PC lyrics (if you are actually singing you already knew you are an odd Catholic.)

2003-01-23T12:27:00.000-06:00

..."offer it up" is in your vocabulary (extra nerdiness if you add "for the good of the Mother Church")

2003-01-22T20:25:00.000-06:00

...you stay up all night reading various church documents instead of studying for finals, just so that you can prove that an accolyte is not an ordinary minister of the Eucharist. (this also proves that you a pretty *%#@ stubborn Catholic nerd)

2003-01-22T20:22:00.000-06:00

...you have heard or taken part in a conversation along these lines-
"Do I smell like incense?"
"Yes, you do."
"Good:)"