{The Catholic Nerd Blog } spacer
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{Monday, December 21, 2009}


...the phrase "heroic virtues" was an early Christmasn present to you this year. "JP2, We love you!" "Pius12..." umm... uh... "you're top shelf!"

posted by Chris 12:28 PM |


{Thursday, December 03, 2009}


...you've ever thought "I would love to be cloistered in the Vatican for 5 years!"

posted by Chris 11:00 AM |


{Sunday, November 29, 2009}


...you totally geek out over the pope's new ferula.

posted by Chris 10:50 PM |


{Tuesday, November 10, 2009}


...you get goosebumps when you see an Ignatius book (the spine of which you can identify from 1000 yards) on the shelves of your local library or chain bookstore.

posted by Chris 6:35 PM |


{Friday, October 16, 2009}


...you geek out over finding the word "ineffable" in the New Yorker.

posted by Chris 1:58 PM |


{Friday, April 24, 2009}


...you love "Holy God We Praise Thy Name" but hearing it only makes you long even more to chant the Te Deum.

posted by Chris 2:18 PM |


{Wednesday, November 05, 2008}


...your election mourning is tempered by relief that you won't hear the words "proportionate reason" for another two years.

posted by Chris 11:26 AM |


{Saturday, January 19, 2008}


...you meet your future spouse at a Theology of the Body discussion group.

posted by Chris 8:30 AM |


{Wednesday, January 09, 2008}


from reader Catlin Barr:

...you can't find a date because all your male friends are planning on
entering the seminary.

...you call attending two masses in one day "double dipping."

...you call the mass of Pius V the "trid."

...our best friend's favorite article of clothing is his custom-made
cassock... and he's not a priest.

Blogger finally let me reclaim this blog! Hopefully, I'll post more than once a year.

posted by Chris 9:30 PM |


{Friday, June 09, 2006}


you not only fast from meat on Fridays but you can also list all possible reasons for breaking that fast;)

posted by Jenny 4:01 PM |


{Thursday, June 08, 2006}


...you wonder whether or not Jesus had a guardian angel.

posted by Jenny 11:02 PM |

...your child's luvy is a homemade scapular (because she used to fall asleep playing with yours and you don't want her carrying around and losing a real scapular.)

posted by Jenny 10:56 PM |

...your five day trip to southern California is planned not for a trip to Disney Land, but for a trip to visit the Carmelites of Alhambra.

posted by Chris 9:30 AM |

...in your dreams you compose a hymn calling Protestant denominations back to the one true faith to the tune of "The Church's One Foundation."

OK, maybe I just have bizaare dreams.

posted by Chris 9:27 AM |


{Saturday, March 11, 2006}


...you agonize over naming a potential set of twins after famous saint-pairs. Cyril - yes! but, er, Methodius? Felicity - allright! but c'mon... Perpetua???

posted by Chris 1:40 PM |


{Monday, February 20, 2006}


... you dream about receiving a phone call from Joaquin Navarro-Valls to discuss media coverage of an upcoming papal visit. (Result of the call: Navarro-Valls fell asleep on the other end of the phone. I have strange dreams.)

posted by Chris 7:52 AM |


{Wednesday, February 01, 2006}


...you have a conversation similar to the following once a year:

Papa-Lu: Darn, my birthday Octave is over. Oh well... at least my epiphany is on a Sunday this year.

Mama-Lu: Too bad! I guess we don't celebrate it.

Papa-Lu: Ah, but certain local feasts can supercede a Sunday.

posted by Chris 11:08 PM |


{Friday, June 18, 2004}


We interrupt this blog to bring you the news of the birth of a tiny Catholic Nerd.

Jenny L. and Chris L., contributors to this blog, gave birth to Matthew Boniface L. on June 17th.

For information and pictures (eventually), go here.

posted by Chris 2:41 PM |


{Thursday, April 29, 2004}


You call into Catholic Answers Live 2 days in a row!

posted by Monika 11:24 AM |


{Monday, April 26, 2004}


You know you run in Catholic Nerd circles when:

While listening to Catholic Answers Live on your way home from work, you hear "Laura from Indianapolis" and wonder if that is if that is your friend Laura who lives in Indy.
When you establish it is, you flip out, then recieve a call on your cell from someone and say, frantically, "I gotta call you back, Laura's on the radio."
To which the caller replies, "I know, I was calling to tell you."
After listening to your friend's question (about spiritual direction) and the guest's answer (that, among other things, he can email her a list of helpful books), you call her, yelling into the phone, "I just heard you on the radio!"
To which she replies, " I figured either you or Jeannine would be calling me."
While you are on the phone, the first caller calls back and you say, "Now I am talking to Laura"
To which he replies, "Ask her to forward the email to me when she gets it from him."


posted by Monika 5:04 PM |


{Sunday, March 28, 2004}


...you not only say Grace before all meals, but you also say the Prayer After meals.

posted by Jenny 8:32 PM |

...you know what things Father Hardon says every Catholic should have on them at all times. Actually you get Catholic Nerd status just by knowing who Father Hardon is.

posted by Jenny 8:27 PM |


{Thursday, March 04, 2004}


...your parents ask you what has come over you that you are so pleasant/helpful/etc. today, and you attribute it to having gone to mass (recieved the Eucharist) that morning.

posted by Monika 1:17 PM |


{Friday, February 27, 2004}


...you know which church to go to in order to:
a) miss the heavy traffic in the morning by leaving early and going to mass close to work (all without driving out of the way, and so you get to work exactly on time.)
b) pray stations with your fiance on the way home from work/before going to see The Passion of the Christ (without going out of either of your way.)
c) and so on...

posted by Monika 12:58 PM |


{Monday, February 23, 2004}


... you get momentarily confused when you hear the word "discernment" refering to something besides trying to determine God's will.

posted by Chris 5:43 PM |


{Friday, January 30, 2004}


...the most exciting thing about your apartment hunt is knowing that you picked (it is necessary) to live in a neighborhood that makes it possible to join the parish your Oma (grandmother) used to belong to. (The only German Sunday masses in my city: maybe that makes me a Germanophile nerd, but we all knew that!)

p.s. We went to the German Mass on Sunday. Boy oh boy how I love Mass in German!

posted by Monika 2:39 PM |


{Monday, December 01, 2003}


...you know who St. Sharbel is, and are shocked that others don't...

posted by Monika 11:57 AM |


{Sunday, November 09, 2003}


...you can rattle off the times for every Sunday and Daily Mass in town.

posted by Chris 5:19 PM |


{Thursday, October 30, 2003}


...you have a special place for all of your religious art overflow, since there are only so many images of the Virgin Mary one room can handle.

posted by Jenny 8:05 PM |

...the genre that get the most shelf space in your house is Catholic (if Russian follows second then you are a really cool Catholic nerd.)

posted by Jenny 8:01 PM |


{Wednesday, October 29, 2003}


The highlight of your week is talking to Jeff Cavins, if only for a second on a
Catholic Radio Program.

posted by Monika 4:16 PM |


{Wednesday, October 22, 2003}


...you not only know what a motu proprio is, but you fantasize about ones you would issue if you were Pope (I would ban certain hymns and certain musical instruments in Mass) :)

posted by Chris 3:50 PM |

...someone says George Weigel is coming to town and you say "cool."

posted by Jenny 3:27 PM |


{Tuesday, October 21, 2003}


...you know the names and locations of the quickly growing, Vatican friendly, religious orders that are popular among other Catholic nerds. The ones coming to mind now are in LA, NY, Ann Arbor, Nashville, and Peoria. Do you know who these are or know of others I'm missing?

posted by Jenny 4:53 PM |

...you feel guilty for missing daily Mass.

...your priest tells you not to mention the fact that he has to say 3 Masses in 1 day. This is double nerd points because a) you know why this is problematic, b) you stand out enough as a nerd that he knows you will know why this is something to keep on the lowdown. If you then go off and call the bishop and let him in on the secret, you should start a Catholic Fanatic blog:)

posted by Jenny 4:48 PM |


{Wednesday, October 15, 2003}


...you know multiple melodies for Tantum Ergo.

...the Angelus, rosary, Mass, and/or the litugy of the hours makes a daily appearance in your life.

...you stereotype people by their apostolate, i.e. Opus Dei, Regnum Christi, etc.

posted by Jenny 9:19 PM |


{Friday, September 05, 2003}


...you greet a friend with "Happy Feast Day!" because today is the feast of the saint whose name he took at his Confirmation.

...you have ever considered naming one of your possible children after one of the more obscure Fathers of the Church. (Hopefully you then realize that no one will be able to spell or pronounce it.)

...you have ever referred to a saint not by his or her name, but simply as your patron or patroness. (Extra points for referring to Mary only as your Mother.)

...you actually have a party on the feast of one of your favorite saints. (Katie, we must begin plans for St. Cecilia's day this year.)

...you know that if you became a nun, you would wear a habit. (For guys--you'd consider wearing a cassock if you became a priest.)

...you have a desire to say a Glory Be after every prayer. (Extra points for wanting to say a Gloria Patri, mucho points for wanting to chant a Gloria Patri.)

...knowing that a guy or girl goes to daily Mass is a big turn-on.

(borrowed from http://allepsalite.blogspot.com/)

posted by Monika 1:47 PM |


{Friday, July 18, 2003}


...you are visiting Procrastination Nation and you get it when he says "the Algorithm Method (that sounds like birth control for Catholic geeks.)"

posted by Jenny 11:51 AM |


{Thursday, July 17, 2003}


...your son shows you the list of books he needs for his 6 weeks of study and training as a FOCUS missionary the night before he's leaving, and you have all but two of the eight on your shelf - and those two are at the office.

(submitted by Ron Hazen.)

Bonus Nerd points if you already knew that FOCUS is the Fellowship of Catholic university Students.

posted by Chris 4:50 PM |

...…your most common phrase at parties starts with “Well, the Catholic Catechism says…”

(submitted by Catherine Prochko)

posted by Chris 4:18 PM |

...your emergency kit contains not just duct tape and food bars, but a bottle of holy water, rosaries all around, and medals and prayer cards.

(submitted by Alicia Huntley of Fructus Ventris)

posted by Chris 4:15 PM |


{Monday, June 23, 2003}


...you can recite, in order, all of the saints mentioned in the first Eucharistic prayer.

posted by Jenny 7:12 PM |


{Thursday, June 19, 2003}


...your dress shoes are all scuffed on the top of the toes from kneeling at church.

posted by Jenny 3:49 PM |


{Monday, June 16, 2003}


...you invite more priests to your wedding than you have attendants.

posted by Chris 1:48 PM |


{Tuesday, June 03, 2003}


...all the jewelry you are wearing is religious. Well, actually that could be any variety of nerd, so you are only a Catholic nerd if you have a rosary ring or bracelet, or a St. __________ medal, or a four way scapular.

posted by Jenny 11:05 AM |


{Friday, May 30, 2003}


...you know the three levels of Monsignor and what the difference is between them. (I'm not a nerd in this respect since I only know "Protonotary Apostolic" and "Prelate of Honor", but I bet some nerd out there can drop a comment with more info. C'mon, you know you want to!)

posted by Chris 1:28 PM |


{Tuesday, May 27, 2003}


....your gauge your movie pix based on their ratings: A-I, A-II, A-III, A-IV and O.

posted by Monika 3:42 PM |


{Wednesday, May 14, 2003}


...you drink to the Holy Father on his birthday. (Its coming up on this Sunday, the 18th, so mark your calendars and get ready to pop the corks!)

posted by Jenny 2:38 PM |


{Tuesday, May 13, 2003}


...your children can pronounce and define hypo-static union, ditto for transubstantiation.

posted by Jenny 2:13 PM |

...you are driving down the road going crazy because you can't remember the 5th line of the 2nd verse of Tantum Ergo (extra points if check for the words in the breviary that's sitting on the console)

posted by Jenny 2:10 PM |


{Friday, May 09, 2003}


...its not the unity candle but the renewal of your baptismal promises that you want to add to your wedding (if you see the unity candle at someone else's wedding and say to yourself "oh, not as hard core as I thought," then you are an uncharitable Catholic nerd.)

posted by Jenny 11:36 AM |

...you own one or more t-shirts that reference the Eucharist, the pope, the Rosary, Confession, or all of the above.

posted by Jenny 11:25 AM |

...you have images of saints or Jesus stuck to your dash board, or your visor, or hanging from your rear view mirror.

posted by Jenny 11:23 AM |


{Monday, April 21, 2003}


...and if part of the reason you got lost was because your passenger was reading aloud from the Diary of St. Faustina, so you forgot to pay attention to the street signs.

posted by Monika 4:14 PM |

...when getting lost while driving, you don't get mad, you say, "well, at least we got to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet."

posted by Monika 4:13 PM |


{Tuesday, April 15, 2003}


...you are the only one in the room who laughs when people are making fun of somebody for liking the band PHISH and somebody says, "You know you should listen to PHISH on Fridays!" (This prolly falls more under the Catholic Dork category, but, that is close enough)

posted by Monika 12:42 PM |


{Sunday, April 06, 2003}


...you have a disturbing dream that a series of misprints in the breviary shatters your prayer life.

posted by Chris 4:23 PM |


{Saturday, April 05, 2003}


...you can list the appointments and privileges associated with being a Knight of the Holy Sepulchre. Actually, it's pretty nerdy just to know what "appointments" are.

posted by Chris 10:43 PM |


{Wednesday, March 19, 2003}


...when a friend asks you to stop by the Catholic bookstore and pick up a statue of St. Joseph, you ask "Do you want a nice one for your house, or one to bury upside down to sell a house?"

posted by Jenny 8:35 PM |

...your daily planner is a "Liturgical Desk Calendar."

posted by Chris 11:47 AM |


{Friday, March 14, 2003}


...you don't feel right about eating a donut on Friday because its lent. You didn't give up sweets or anything, but somehow that just doesn't seem right.

posted by Jenny 1:47 PM |

...you are looking up Mass times in the yellow pages (you might think a nerd would have all the Mass times memorized, but my argument is that a real nerd respects parish boundires and only attends the correct church) and you say, "Why do they have Comp. Line listed?" and your friend thinks that you are referring to the Liturgy of the Hours.

posted by Jenny 1:46 PM |

...somebody tells you they want to be a saint and you take them seriously.

posted by Jenny 1:39 PM |

...your friend is telling you about another friend who gets up every morning at 5, prays a Holy Hour and then goes to Mass. He finishes talling you about her by saying "I guess you know what she's discerning" and you do.

posted by Jenny 1:38 PM |


{Friday, March 07, 2003}


...you stop and compare ashes with friends after Mass.

posted by Jenny 5:38 PM |


{Thursday, March 06, 2003}


...when problems at work (or in life in general) get out of hand, you go looking for a good novena.

posted by Jenny 10:07 AM |


{Thursday, February 27, 2003}


...the only reading material you bring with you on a plane trip is Love and Responsibility by Karol Wojtyla and Triumph: The Power and Glory of the Catholic Church- A 2000 Year History by H.W. Crocker III

posted by Monika 6:06 PM |


{Wednesday, February 19, 2003}


...you have more pictures of saints than of relatives on your walls.

posted by Jenny 3:15 PM |

...you dress to match the liturgical season or feast (my favorite example was newly married wife who told her husband he was only allowed to wear his pink ties when the church wore pink)

posted by Jenny 3:13 PM |


{Tuesday, February 11, 2003}


...you have been to one or more WYD (extra nerdiness if you made in the Jubilee Year.)

posted by Jenny 10:24 AM |

...you look into phenomenology just to be even more of a Pope groupie. JP2, we love you!

posted by Jenny 10:23 AM |

...you pick dates for significant events by looking up feast days.

posted by Jenny 10:21 AM |

...February 14 means Cyrill and Methodius (sp?) Day!
Yeah for the apostles to the Slavs!!!
Yeah for OCS!!!

posted by Jenny 10:20 AM |


{Thursday, February 06, 2003}


...BVM and OLOG mean something to you.

posted by Jenny 3:46 PM |

...you know which Eucharistic prayer is being used in 5 words or less.

posted by Jenny 3:45 PM |

...you have a key rack that does not hold any keys but rather is full of Rosaries.

posted by Jenny 3:43 PM |


{Monday, February 03, 2003}


...your VCR is programmed to tape every episode of Fulton Sheen's Life is Worth Living that airs on EWTN.

posted by Monika 2:58 PM |


{Sunday, February 02, 2003}


...you want to know the best options for downloading the saint of the day to you palmpilot.

posted by Jenny 3:22 PM |

...you know the words to Tantum Ergo, Salve Regina, Ave Maria, Panis Angelicus, ____________ (fill in you favorite Latin Hymn)

posted by Jenny 3:13 PM |


{Friday, January 31, 2003}


...you and your friends break out a calendar, (one of the free ones that your Parish gives away) and go through it to see whose feast days are when. (I suppose if you are a true Catholic nerd, you would already know :)

posted by Monika 3:42 PM |

...on a Friday night, you stay up with your friends until 1.30 am, watching EWTN.

posted by Monika 3:40 PM |


{Thursday, January 30, 2003}


...you receive a invitation to dinner that warns you that it will violate your Friday fast, and so you may wish to choose an alternate fast for that day if you attend.

posted by Jenny 6:36 PM |

...you have a dream that you receive the charismatic gift of tongues, and think to yourself, "oh, so that's how it comes!"

posted by Monika 2:50 PM |

...you have a dream that you are in adoration....and the Eucharist begins to bleed...and your big dilemma is whether to leave Jesus alone and get a priest to show him the miracle, or to stay with Jesus. (I stayed, by the way)

posted by Monika 2:49 PM |


{Wednesday, January 29, 2003}


...you feel really conflicted because your house smells like Christmas and Easter at the same time. (We had a Christmas tree and lilies!)

posted by Monika 9:32 AM |


{Tuesday, January 28, 2003}


....at a pre-Christmas party, you ask your friends if anyone will be "liturgically offended" if you light all four of the candles on the Advent wreath even though it is just Thursday of the 3rd week of Advent.

posted by Monika 9:43 AM |

...you own one or more of the following, Witness to Hope, Canon Law, Daily Roman Missal, a Latin hymnal, Theology of the Body, the Suma, Confessions, Commentary of St. Jerome, an Ignatius Bible, Reed of God, This Tremendous Lover, umm well, I could spend the next hour cataloging my shelves on this blog, but I should get back to work, and I think you get the idea;)

posted by Jenny 9:35 AM |

...you refer to having a bit too much to drink as, "not in the best state to evangelize." (To which your friends reply, "meet 'em where they're at, man!")

posted by Monika 9:29 AM |

...when a solemnity falling on a Friday changes your normal Friday fare (St. Joseph in lent doesn't count, neither does St. Patrick's Day , unless you happen to get a dispensation for that in your diocese, gotta love Peoria!)

posted by Jenny 9:26 AM |

...you remember the names of the apostles by going through your brothers (yay big families!)

posted by Jenny 9:19 AM |


{Monday, January 27, 2003}


...the biggest fight you've had with your boyfriend is about which one of you was praying the Apostles' creed wrong.

posted by Monika 10:36 AM |


{Friday, January 24, 2003}


...you pray bits of the rosary whenever you drive, instead of listening to the radio (props to MJT for that one!)

posted by Monika 2:26 PM |

...your roommate tells you that you were talking about the pope in your sleep (this was a few years ago)

posted by Monika 12:55 PM |

...you ask for the intercession of people who have not yet been canonized, and it isn't some friend or relative.

posted by Monika 12:50 PM |

...you think it is *very* romantic to switch rosaries with your boyfriend.

posted by Monika 11:45 AM |


{Thursday, January 23, 2003}


...you know who JP2 is (if you argue about whether or not it is appropriate to nick-name a pope, you might be more than a nerd, perhaps someday we will start a self diagnostic blog "You know you need Catholic therapy when..."

posted by Jenny 12:35 PM |

...you still sing "saved a wretch like me" and other un-PC lyrics (if you are actually singing you already knew you are an odd Catholic.)

posted by Jenny 12:31 PM |

..."offer it up" is in your vocabulary (extra nerdiness if you add "for the good of the Mother Church")

posted by Jenny 12:27 PM |


{Wednesday, January 22, 2003}


...you stay up all night reading various church documents instead of studying for finals, just so that you can prove that an accolyte is not an ordinary minister of the Eucharist. (this also proves that you a pretty *%#@ stubborn Catholic nerd)

posted by Jenny 8:25 PM |

...you have heard or taken part in a conversation along these lines-
"Do I smell like incense?"
"Yes, you do."
"Good:)"

posted by Jenny 8:22 PM |


{Tuesday, January 21, 2003}


...you publish a list to the internet of all the silly Catholic attributes you and your friends have, and are very proud of them!

posted by Monika 12:17 PM |

..your biggest turn on is a man wearing a scapular!

posted by Monika 12:16 PM |


{Monday, January 20, 2003}


...you realize that you wear your old WYD shirt and your new WYD scarf to clean your Assumption Junction walls.

posted by Jenny 8:55 PM |

...you get excited that you can buy cheap Guadalupe candles in the ethnic section of Meijer.

posted by Jenny 8:51 PM |

...you live in a house named Assumption Junction because your lease started on the Feast of the Assumption.

posted by Jenny 8:49 PM |

...you compare a shower to confession...instead of confession to a shower (this analogy was how we discovered that we were truly Catholic nerds and began the list)

posted by Jenny 8:48 PM |


{Saturday, January 18, 2003}


...your job training includes playing "Sacramentary games." Super-nerd points if you play for leisure as well.

posted by Chris 10:21 AM |


{Thursday, January 16, 2003}


...you discuss whether you should say grace over the appetizer or wait for the main course. (we got everyone to go with the first option, but only because the nerds out-numbered the normals)

posted by Jenny 10:37 PM |

...you have nightmares about defending the faith from angry, liberal, Catholic women.

posted by Jenny 10:34 PM |

...you stop and bless yourself before going to a party.

posted by Jenny 6:40 PM |

...you make a hobby of learning dead languages that have no use, except liturgical (latin, OCS, ancient greek)

posted by Jenny 6:38 PM |

...you are thrilled that others are posting their nerdiness! Quenta Narwenion and C'mon Get Lively! each...

posted by Jenny 3:34 PM |


{Wednesday, January 15, 2003}


...you give your friends crap for going to a pub every Friday at three, stopping drinking in time to receive Communion at 5pm Mass - or if you are the friend who goes every week.

posted by Jenny 3:06 PM |

...your boyfriend tells you you are one of his many girls, and you are not offended, bc the rest of them are Mary, St. Therese, St. Joan of Arc....

posted by Monika 9:01 AM |

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